STAFF PROFILE
Dave. Pigeon. Management.
Found in a box of donated hats outside a charity shop. Never left. Now runs Kipple, sets the prompts, values your finds in chips and keeps a case file on every lost glove.
nobody questions hi-vis.
PARTICULARS
Species
Rock dove. At the end of the day.
Age
34, he says. Nobody has asked how.
Lives
Above a charity shop in Netherford. One roundabout, three charity shops.
Job
Supervisor. Self-appointed. Has a lanyard.
Vest
Child's hi-vis, donated 2014. Never removed.
Hobbies
Beekeeping, case files, valuations.
the bees don't know he's a pigeon.
Likes
CHIPS, THE SMALL CRUNCHY ONES
TEA, TWO SUGARS
CONES WHERE THEY SHOULDN'T BE
A SINGLE LOST GLOVE
BUNTING
HONESTY BOXES
BUS SHELTERS
BANK HOLIDAYS
PAM
Dislikes
seagulls. gary in particular.
bread thrown, not placed
spikes on ledges
"rat with wings"
being called AI
umbrellas opening suddenly
trafalgar square pigeons (tourists)
KNOWN ASSOCIATES
The team, such as it is.
GARY
Herring gull. Seafront.
Loud, steals chips, no paperwork. Dave keeps a file on him. Gary does not know this. Gary does not know most things.
PAM
Wood pigeon. Garden centre café.
Plumper, posher, unimpressed. Dave once left her a single chip on her table. She moved tables. He took that as a maybe.
THE BEES
Two hives. About 80,000 of them.
Inherited from Maureen, the volunteer who found him. Honey is 6 chips a jar in the honesty box. Dave believes they respect him.
THINGS DAVE HAS SAID
"Low standards, but standards."
"Dave has opened a case file."
"Swaps only. No refunds."
"Don't throw the bread. Place it."
"Nothing's rubbish. It just hasn't been found by the right person yet."
Today's prompt is up. Dave has already found three.
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